Dear Brilliant Mothers Everywhere,
Since having a child myself, I have noticed that many mothers are busy spending wasting too much time torturing themselves thinking about what other people are/might be thinking of their parenting style. I mean even when these beautiful mothers have no time to even brush their teeth twice a day, they still find time to worry about the judgement of others. It’s crazy and it’s time to stop, because you owe it to your mental health.
Mothers, my advice to you today is that because time is so precious, (and life is so short), please I beg of you that you stop doing this to yourself! I mean it’s like you forgot how amazingly strong you are. But let me remind you how!
Remember that day you gave birth? Yes. You did that. Yes I am talking to you reading this post! You did it because you are fricking amazingly, powerfully awesome! So my point is that you have the strength to rise above what others might be saying about you!
Also, until someone has said it to your face it is either misconstrued gossip or all in your mind. So, don’t worry yourself until a fact is a fact and you hear their negative judgement for yourself in person.
And even then… if you hear it – so what? If you feel comfortable with the decisions you make as a mother, stick with them and don’t let their problems with your parenting bother you. Because they are exactly that – their problems not yours! You are too busy being a supermum to have to take any notice of their negativity.
This does highlight that far too many people are sadly living in a negative world, and perhaps they think that happiness will somehow be found in pointing out others ‘flaws’. (Remember the picture of David Beckham this week pictured with his 4 year old daughter Harper who was sucking on a dummy whilst her daddy held her because she wasn’t well? Yeah, the ‘negative talkers’ of this world felt it was up to them to tell Beckham he was a bad parent because Harper still had a dummy. When it has nothing to do with them when his child stops needing her dummy. But if the shoe was on the other foot these clearly very unhappy people wouldn’t like to be told they might be doing something wrong as a parent! By the way Beckham I would like to tell you I think you a great dad for simply being there for your precious little girl when she was ill and showing her love and kindness.)
I digress.
I know all about these people who spout their negative diarrhea on a frequent basis like a CD stuck on repeat playing a very annoying song, because I too have been trapped in a cycle of thinking negatively at one time or another and some members of my family are trapped in its clutches also.
I found that through having Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), as well as attending mindful meditation classes it helped me break the cycle. Since applying what both taught me, I am able to catch myself if I ever start thinking negative thoughts and I tell myself that I have a choice to believe them or not. And it really is that simple to help avoid going into a negative episode as I have learnt now that not all thoughts are real. Just like the worries you have over what others think of your parenting style, these might not even be real.
The CBT and mindful meditation classes helped reduce my anxiety (which can cause a lot of my negativity) that came back after I had my son due to some family conflict I simply was not coping with and processing well. And the mindful mediation classes helped me to see my worries and situations, and people that triggered my anxiety, in a totally different and refreshing copable light.
Stress can manifest in many different ways, and I am a big fan of talking about it. As it can quickly turn into a full blown mental health problem if you ignore any kind of unhappy feelings that seem to linger for a long time.
For those that are looking for natural ways to combat anxiety and any other types of mental health problems, CBT is available through your doctor on the NHS, and the meditation classes I attend you pay for as you go.
So, remember when you encounter cruel negative people, they are not brave for doing this. But you are – because you gave birth. You created life. You can now go on and do anything, so don’t let these unhappy people steal your fire ever again!
Amy
